Boris considers Violet Elizabeth approach to discussing Brexit extension date with EU

I’ll thsqueem and thsqueem and thsqueem until I’m thsick

Despite it being likely that the Prime Minister will be required by law to write to a letter to the EU asking them for an extension to the looming 31st October date for Brexit, Mr Johnson has stated that he is unprepared to do so, declaring that he would rather “die in a ditch”. The government claims that it will abide by the law at every stage, yet has not yet clarified how it can reconcile abiding by the law, yet not requesting an extension date if it is required to do so.

Mr John stated:

“I won’t do it! I won’t, I won’t I won’t! And you can’t make me, thso there! There ith no way that I’m going to thspeak to thothse thsilly billithse in Bwuthselleths about an ethxtension to the date for Bwexthit. I would wrather die in a ditch!”

When questioned about whether this might cause him to break the law, which could ultimately see him facing jail time, Mr. Johnson declared:

“I wheely, wheely don’t care. If they put me in jail, I’ll thsqueem and thsqueem and thsqueem until I’m thsick and that’ll teach them to cwothse me! Juthst you wait and thsee!”

Mr Johnson went on to speak more about his ‘die in a ditch’ statement:

“Yesth, I am sthill pwepared to die in a ditch! and that howwible William, erm, I mean Jerwemy thsaid that him and his fwiends in the Labour Party were more than happy to help. They thsaid that they were fetching their shovelsth and were going to thstart digging the ditch sthwait away! They wheely are vewy vewy naughty boysth indeed!”

It is unclear what the governments next move might be in this regard, however it is rumored that it might have something to do with pulling hair, hiding a catapult or putting a frog down someone’s trousers.