Blakey from ‘On The Buses’ to be next Tory Prime Minister

I’ll get you Butler!

In an unprecedented move, the Conservative Party’s 1922 committee have today announced that, following the likely departure of Theresa May as Prime Minister over the coming weeks, they will be throwing their full weight of support behind Blakey from ‘On The Buses’ to be their next party leader. As a number of potential candidates for leadership are said to be considering throwing their hats into the political ring, including Michael Gove, Amber Rudd & Boris Johnson, this extremely influential group of backbenchers reportedly believes that Blakey gives them the best chance of successfully returning to power at the next General Election.

Others within the party, however, are said to be not quite as convinced. Leader of the far right Conservative Party faction the ERG, Jacob-Reece Mogg, who is also rumoured to be considering running for the position of leader, has been throwing doubt over Blakey’s political record. Standing on Parliament Square this morning, Mr Reece-Mogg stated:

“Blakey has absolutely no pedigree for this kind of position. The man doesn’t have the wherewithal or gravitas to undertake such an important role. He simply does not possess the skills required to successfully lead this country forward. And his record in office is more than questionable. How many times did he promise that he would ‘get Butler’ and seemingly never did. He isn’t a man I would ever be able to place my faith in.”

When asked about Blakely, Leader of the House Andrea Leadsome declared:

“I can see that he would be a popular choice with many. Not only does he have a Hitler moustache, he’s also an extremely greasy and smarmy character. In terms of leading the Conservatives, he has many of the qualities we would be looking for.”

She did, however, also throw some doubt on the potential appointment:

“Blakey wouldn’t be my first choice though. Personally speaking, I would far rather have any of the characters played by Bernard Breslaw or Sid James in the Carry On movies as our esteemed leader. With one of them in place, we would definitely win the next election. This is exactly the same ploy that UKIP used with Nigel Farage to increase their popularity.”

We at VaskeNews will be keeping an ear close to the ground over the coming days to make sure you’re the first to hear about the latest twists and turns coming from Westminster.